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400 Waltz

The 400 Waltz – 3:06 – I learned how to drive in Southern Ontario, but then moved to Winnipeg for 15 years. When I moved back we settled north of Toronto and I had to drive Highway 400 each time I went to work. I was surprised and appalled and somewhat intimidated by the bad habits and worse manners of my new fellow-drivers. (There had been a change while I was away…)

Anyone who commutes to the cottage-country knows what this song is all about. I hope, when gridlocked on the highway going north on a Friday night, they can hear this, and then laugh at their unfortunate surroundings.


The 400 Waltz       (capo 2 A)                              © 1998 by Dave Hadfield

G                         C             Am
Not long ago I accepted a job,
D                                    G
And moved to Toronto; the great urban blob.
C                 Am
Bought me a house to the north of the town,
D                                    G             D
And early each morning go down …. to …

       G                     C     Am
The 400 waltz, the 400 waltz,                          
      D                                  G
To say that it’s friendly is totally false.      
        G                     C     Am
The 400 waltz, the 400 waltz,            
D                                          G
Dancing with partners you hate.

In winter the streamers come off of the lake,
And those who are dancing all learn how to skate.
They spin and they weave on their way to the town,
And never oh never slow down …. for ….

I’ve tried driving early – I’ve tried driving late.
The crowd is awaiting; it’s always my fate.
I have only ego, I don’t have a soul.
One more Fruit Loop in the bowl …. of ….

A driver I saw was a marvel to me.
He seemed to be driving miraculously.
He worked his computer, he talked on the phone,
And never once looked at the road …. of ….

One Friday evening I lingered at work.
I get absent minded, I felt like a jerk.
The highway was stopped with Muskoka-bound cars.
I wished I was driving on Mars …. not ….

[chorus-last line changes

2- I wish I was driving a tank
3- Thank god that most are unarmed
4- I’m balding as fast as my tires
5- I wish I was driving on Mars]